Do you remember that little 7 of hearts? Lying in the dirt, waiting for someone to pick them up. That card is special, yet no one notices it until it’s gone. Every day you see me on the road and you ignore me, I’m pretty sure that you didn’t even think once of picking me up. At least I hope you didn’t.
Made me have my hopes up for no reason, but I thought you took me home… no one wants a lost single piece in their home anyway.. right?
Guess what, this little piece that you picked up had a set, a family and friends. It was the most liked card once, the other cards envied her, envied who she liked, who she spent her time with, who she touched, but mostly, they envied who she was and who she wanted… but as we all know all good things come to an end.
The era of the seven of hearts came to an end, her friends abandoned her, and her family soon hated who she was. When she wanted help she went to the most fancied card.. the ‘ace of spades’ but of course, he didn’t help her why should he? She’s just a weirdo. She was the one who fits in every single group. Now she is an outcast in her world, how time changes. Now she is separated from her family and on the road, lost hope in everything as everybody kicks up dust as they go past her.. leaving her a bit buried in the ground.
She knew she would be soon forgotten so she never thought anyone could pick her up or even notice her.. and then you came along, gently picking her up, she felt adorable for the first time in a long time, felt like how she used to feel before when she had a family, friends she could share her day with. You picked her up softly dusting her, she felt hope for the first time and she didn’t stop the feeling. Cuz she felt you would take her home, keep her there and love her forever, that’s what she wanted. Nothing more than to be loved. “Look the seven of hearts!” Oh, how she longed for people to say it with the love in their voices, instead of the hollow cold voice she usually heard.
She was overjoyed to hear the sweet voice. She told the voice that it was charming, gave it all the love it wanted and loved it when it couldn’t love itself. You kept her in your pocket, she felt like she was living her dream, days went by and she lay there, waiting for someone to take her out of the dark place. It was cozy but lonely. It was warm but somehow cold. She reassured herself that she wasn’t forgotten but couldn’t stop thinking about it in the back of her head. The next day she felt the pocket move, full of hope she dusted herself and imagined talking to the sweet voice once again. She was thrilled to do that once again, the thrill which never ended. She felt herself being held softly and faced the lovely voice. “Hello once again, been a long time isn’t it?” She said.
She noticed that she wasn’t alone, she was with a few other people, must be their friends she thought “hello pleased to meet you, I’m the seven of hearts” she introduced herself. “What’s that, ugh” said a deep voice, it seemed to come from one of the people. “Oh it’s nothing, just a dirty card I picked up on the road and forgot to throw” said the sweet voice. At least she thought it was sweet, not anymore. The words somehow hurt more than the words her past friends said. That’s when she realised she was in love. In love with someone who thought she was just a filthy piece of paper nothing more.
The sweet voice threw her on the road back where she was, at square 1. Alone. She saw the beautiful boy walk away making fun of her. That’s when she knew. She knew that the boy couldn’t hear her from the start, that the effort she made was wasted. She blamed herself for not being good enough. She blamed herself for hoping that she could be loved. She was sure that she did something wrong. She sobbed, what else could she do anyway? She’s talentless. She was so heartbroken that she couldn’t breathe properly. She sobbed until the night came, she was afraid because that’s when her worst monsters start to come out.
The night is dark and there’s nothing left to see, so she fills it with her thoughts. Once she loved the night as she didn’t have anything wrong in her life. She enjoyed the night, singing and dancing in it. The gentle breeze that made her shiver with joy made her shiver with cold and dread. Her cries and pleas turned into whispers “please no. Don’t come near me. Don’t haunt me. I beg you” shivering in the cold, already having a headache she wiped her runny nose. She started crawling backwards she knew that her thoughts liked the fear and wanted more. She knew she had to be brave and fight them. But she was talentless… what could she even do?
Fighting back… it seemed ridiculous, too much energy-consuming. She let her fears and thoughts cover her like a blanket. It felt different, it was like being wrapped in a cold blanket while everyone was sitting around the bonfire enjoying. It indeed felt weird, but somehow comforting. Comforting that she didn’t have to live anymore. Comforting that nothing was important as there was nothing left.
“Hello,” said a voice. It was deep and sounded like it was somehow broken. She instantly knew who it was. She feared it the most in her young days. It haunted her and gave her nightmares. She used to run to her mom’s comforting arms to escape. Remembering that she had none, she replied “Hello depression”. For once she felt like she wanted to know her monster. She wanted to know them as she had no one to talk to. She wanted to know what made it such a monster, with those bright white lights which were hollow, with the black scribbles filled with every insult and every word that could ever hurt.
It came and sat beside her, compressing its body so it was her size. She could see the words merging until it was just a black body with some lines sticking out. She reached out to touch it, but it stung. She saw all her memories all happy ones. It made her sad because she knew she would never experience them again.
“It hurts. Right? Being left alone in the sadness with no one around you to help you out, or even if you are in a room filled with people no one realises that you are sad. Even if you want help you don’t know how to portray it because you think people might judge you for being sad or won’t understand you?” Depression said.
“I- I… don’t know what to say… it’s like you can read my thoughts” she replied stunned. Depression kept its hand softly on her shoulder, they were long and skinny she couldn’t make out if it had nails or not since it was all black. Even though the night was dark. She could see Depression, it was like Depression was the darker shade of everything around her. She was terrified at first but slowly became used to it. “I can read your thoughts since you are affected by me”
Depression and the seven of hearts discussed every topic. From big to small. From happy moments to sad ones. She was just telling him about how cruel the ace of spades was when she noticed a small patch of sky covered by the new sun streaks. She looked back at depression, it was starting to fade away. “Please don’t go, you’re the only one I have” she pleaded. She was now comfortable with the monster, comfortable enough to call it “her devil”, lightly patting the seven of hearts’ head Depression said “I’m not leaving you, not yet. Let me tell you a little something. I am always inside you, you just need to find me or just remember the betrayal you faced, If you call I’ll be there. I may be a little faded away because I’m stronger at night, but I’ll always be there for you and never leave you.”
“Okay.” The seven of hearts hesitated a bit. “Can you stay for a bit? I fell empty” Depression agreed. “For a little bit, then I’ll have to go.” They both sat there, viewing the sunrise as a light of new hope. But they both knew that they were outcasts in this world of love and war.
Days passed to months, as Depression and Seven of Hearts became closer than ever. There wasn’t a day ever when they didn’t cry together, or laugh together. They shared core memories and had inside jokes that no one knew about or understood. They had a routine where ‘Sewis’ (the name Depression gave Seven of Hearts) scavenged for items to make a house or shelter with. Meanwhile, Depression would go back to the shadows.
Sewis persisted Depression to stay a bit longer every day, surprisingly he stayed. She noticed the more he stayed in the sun the more human-like they became, once she saw their hair. Shiny black like the night sky and beautiful eyes, Depression noticed this too. They ran back to the shadows to regain their monster form, Sewis tried to chase them but soon lost them. She decided when nightfall arrived she will have a firm talk with Depression in her nearly constructed house. Once she set her mind on something she would never bulge, this time there was no exception. When dusk finally arrived, Sewis waited and waited for Depression to come, but they never did.
To be continued…